Five and A Few More

I’m back! Hiieeeee. Anyone out there?

This marks the first year that I didn’t post a commemorative post for the anniversary of my SDR surgery, which passed back on Valentine’s Day. Oops. Don’t panic. Not posting doesn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about it, doesn’t mean that I’m not grateful, thankful, all the things. I still am. It’s been five whole years since that fateful trip to St. Louis.

This whole SDR journey has taught me more about myself and what I’m capable of than I could’ve possibly imagined. That’s saying a lot. No, really. My experiences with rehab and recovery post-SDR surprised me. Sure, it tested my resolve. Of course it did. Yet when I wanted to stop, I didn’t. I kept going, looked forward. When improvement seemed out of reach, I kept pushing. Pushed, pushed, pushed. When I was up for hours in the middle of the night, my legs twitching and jerking with the evil that is nerve pain (0/10 do NOT recommend), I kept pushing. During the early days of my rehab/recovery, when I went to physical therapy multiple times a week (during the coronavirus pandemic, no less), I kept pushing. All I wanted was to stay home but I couldn’t because I had no choice…especially if I wanted to make gains. I pushed, pushed, pushed. At this point that should be my anthem, for goodness sake. Little did I know at the time that those lessons from SDR would be applicable to other parts of my life….like law school.

Law school has been many things. A mountain. A beast. A ridiculous amount of work. This journey has also taken perseverance. Grit. Tenacity. Sacrifice. There’ve been many days when I wanted to give up. I didn’t. I don’t. Even if I’m physically and mentally exhausted, even if I’ve just sobbed for no reason at all, even if it feels like I’m going to crack under all the uncertainty, expectations, pressure….I stay intact. I push. Push. Push. Why? It’s not only because I have no choice. No. It’s also because I want it. And yes, I’m definitely the type to know what I want in life. If you haven’t gathered that already. Write that down. I started pursuing a law degree. Better believe I’m here to finish what I started. You can write that down too.

This is a big year for sure. 2025 is the year I graduate with my Juris Doctor (!!!!!!), the year I pass the bar….yes, you read that right. I said the year I pass the bar. Manifesting it. Read it here first. Of course, it’s going to be extremely difficult. I’m sure of it. Ultimately, though, it will be worth it as everything I’ve worked for the past few years comes to fruition.

I have a lot going on. Ok, that’s probably the understatement of the century. I’m juggling four classes, studying for multiple licensing exams, applying for post-grad jobs, trying to plan my big post-bar exam trip (Norway, anyone?)….the list goes on. I just keep going. My classmates called me “the machine” in high school. Appropriate. I didn’t stop, and guess what? It paid off, obviously. I hope history repeats itself.

You might be thinking, sheesh! I hope you’re setting aside time to rest! I’m resting….I think. Honestly, the voice in my head is telling me I can rest later. After I graduate. Or after I take the bar. One of those. Probably not after I graduate, since that’s when I’m launching into full-time bar study. Bar studying is going to become my full time job. Gulp Please send good vibes into the universe! Especially at the end of July. I’m going to need all the positivity I can get. Appreciate it.

I’m actually bad at resting. Can you tell? It certainly isn’t ideal considering I live with CP and chronic pain. Don’t worry, I’m working on it. Promise. Because deep down I know and hopefully you know that resting is just as important as the work you put in. Maybe more. Does it count if I’m currently writing this blog post with my feet up? No? Darn. I tried. Three cheers for sectional couches with chaises, though. Hip, Hip…

Wow, I honestly think it’s a miracle I was able to write this post at all. Sometimes the urge to write is kind of like scratching an itch, and I just went for it. Hooray! That’s all for now. Wish me luck. No, seriously. Wish it.