I Can Hear You. I Can Understand You. I Can Answer You.

Ok, story time starts now.

About a month ago, my boyfriend and I were sitting in the airport, waiting for our flight to Europe to board. I was personally still reeling from the hellish experience of taking the bar exam, and was so looking forward to escaping on a well-deserved and highly anticipated vacation. At that moment, while I was doom scrolling and minding my own business, an airport employee, let’s call him, Airport Dude, approached us. Despite making eye contact with me, he asked my boyfriend, “Does she need assistance getting to her seat on the airplane?”

Let me repeat that. Airport Dude asked my boyfriend this, not me. I was sitting right there, literally inches away.

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I’m sorry, was I wearing Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak? Could you not see me sitting there and looking straight at you? The answer to the first question is of course not, because Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak is not a real thing, and the answer to the second question is apparently not, even though the guy was, again, inches away from me. For a split second, just a second, I was confused. Then I thought, don’t be naive. Of course Airport Dude saw you. He chose not to address you. Guess what, Airport Dude? I can hear you. I can understand you. I can answer you.

“Yes,” I said forcefully, giving Airport Dude the best, nastiest dirty look I could muster. How dare he? Ugh, just typing this out is getting me mad. Hopefully, you can feel the anger while reading this, wherever you are. It’s intentional because, frankly, it’s fucked up. Yes, I just cursed. I don’t care. Alert the media if you want.

Sadly, I’m fairly certain this experience is common in the disabled community, a community that I’ve happily been a part of for a very long time. And it’s not just because I’m disabled. It’s also because this blog has been running for quite a while, and many other reasons I don’t feel like listing out because they’re not that important. What’s really worth mentioning is that it’s truly been a such a pleasure to share my experiences and be included in a vibrant, amazing group of people. I could say more on all that…how this community is a place where I really fit in and feel accepted and loved….but I’d probably get all emotional and cry. It takes a lot for me to cry, by the way. Let me just leave it there.

In the past, when I was more active on Twitter (I’m not calling it X), I noticed other disabled people sharing similar stories. Stories of being ignored or spoken about as though they were also invisible. I’ve heard and read about it happening in many contexts: at a restaurant, in a doctor’s office….and now in an airport. You know what? It’s unacceptable, no matter where it happens or how often it happens or the amount of people it’s happened to.

Where do I begin? Let me be clear. I’m perfectly capable of answering questions. Especially when they’re about me, and most especially when they relate to navigating this terribly inaccessible world with my disability. Ignoring me is simply not going to work. Why? First of all, it’s rude. Don’t you understand decency? No, not decency, I can make it simpler…. don’t you have basic manners? God.

Second of all and more importantly, the underlying implications of doing what Airport Dude did are deeply troubling and problematic. These ideas and assumptions that because I’m disabled I’m incapable of speaking for myself or that I somehow don’t understand what’s happening around me, that my non-disabled boyfriend (he’s wonderful) is better equipped to speak about accessibility than I am, that someone like me doesn’t have a voice and might not even need one, are not only downright hurtful, they’re also incredibly ableist. I’ve said before that I have zero tolerance for ableism and other nasty behavior. This incident was no exception. There’s no room for that here. If you want to be ableist, discriminatory, whatever, immediately exit. You’re not welcome.

After Airport Dude left, I could feel my blood pressure going up. I was so annoyed. How dare he. For real. I must’ve ranted to my boyfriend for two straight minutes. A part of me was frustrated with myself for not being ruder but truthfully it all happened so fast that I didn’t have a chance. Let me just say that Airport Dude should consider himself lucky that I was sitting down and that he got away quickly because I felt like chasing him and giving him a piece of my mind. Full stop.

No, I don’t feel like I’m overreacting. This happened to me not only once but two separate times on my vacation, both at the airport. And it was the same question. For God’s sake. I do not need a chair to get to my seat on the airplane. If I needed one, I would’ve told you way before this, probably before I even got to the freaking airport. Ok, rant over. I think. It’s just so infuriating. Am I right or am I right?